Yesterday I hopped into the shower after a hard day's work, only to discover that my hot water was in short supply. I was, after all, showering after my three daughters. I reached for my razor, thinking I should shave quickly before the goose bumps set in. Only the razor was gone. Stolen from my shower by my oldest who decided that stealing my razor would be easier than replacing the dull blade on her own.
And here we go again...life with three daughters. My stuff disappears. I can't keep nail polish in my bathroom. Or tweezers. Or clippers, or any "tool of beauty". Same goes for hair products and lotions. And it's not like the girls don't have their own lotions, and nail clippers. But they lose theirs. And somehow it is always easier to just grab mine than to look for their own.
If you're a guy you might as well stop reading now, because I am about to delve into the world of feminine products. First of all, I love that we have this name "feminine products" to use when talking about our pads and tampons. Makes it all sound so sanitary. But let's be honest. It's not sanitary, not at all. The girls' bathroom garbage can is overflowing with the wrappers that come from so many monthly cycles. And when I need my own products, are they handy? No, they've been raided...of course.
When the girls were little, I remember listening to my friends with little boys complain about the pee all around their toilet. 'Little boys have no aim at all!', they would sigh. And I think at that point in life, the girls were somewhat easier--at least in the realm of potty training. But I knew that my time would come. I looked ahead and saw that three daughters going through adolescence might be challenging. Other people would tease us. They would say things like, "wow, three daughters...aren't you in for some fun teenage years." And we all had a good laugh about the future. Yes, those are going to be some good days all right! Well, the future is here, and I'm not laughing. Mostly, I cry. I find that when we are all PMSing together, it helps to simply shed a few tears. Or a lot of tears depending on the month.
But here is the absolute, gut wrenching irony of the whole thing. I know that I will get to a place in life (down the road a bit), where I will actually miss this. And this is what makes motherhood so completely, utterly insane-asylum-crazy. Every phase that drives you around the bend is also the same phase that you will miss. I know this is true because we have been through so many phases already. The endless diaper, breast-feeding, sleepless night phase...I miss it. The bi-polar toddler, plastic toys all over the living room phase...I miss it. And just recently I even realized, (and this one is truly shocking) that now that Emily is driving, I kind of miss my time driving her all around. I know--totally crazy!!
And so it is with this history, that I acknowledge the future day when I will miss this phase of motherhood too. IF I make it through in one piece. And right now that is a little uncertain.
Oh yes. All of the above... and then, the letting go of Senior Year when you no longer rock their world because, all of a sudden, they have a boy who rocks their world and they make all these totally inappropriate and misguided choices (first of all, I said NO BOYS in your bedroom!).
ReplyDeleteAnd then there's college... dropping her off at school for the first time and crying for a week. And when she came home for a visit (she's only in Bellingham), she liberated lots of sanitary and other bathroom stuff... And she may be making inappropriate and misguided choices, but you're not there to witness any of it and the loneliness steals at your heart because you are not there to live vicariously through her, watch her blossom into a fantastic, smart, grounded young adult and you don't get to see it and it hurts. It hurts, it hurts, it hurts... but then the second year comes and you are more prepared because you know the drill and you are finally able to wean yourself off from the anxiety medication that helped you survive the last two years.
Yes, You is me. Hugs to you. You will get through this. Hopefully without being medicated, but a good glass of wine is cheap therapy.
Ali
"I know that I will get to a place in life (down the road a bit), where I will actually miss this. And this is what makes motherhood so completely, utterly insane-asylum-crazy."
ReplyDeleteOh, you'll make it through. And yeah, you'll miss it.... While you're loving every second of the still-to-come joys in the next beautifully bizarre phases of life! My re-write of the second sentence I quoted would be: "And this is what makes Megan Carson such a good mom, fabulous friend, and extraordinarily wise soul." I love when people look at things from different angles, inspiring new thought patterns. In fact, I love this whole post! Ahhhh, Honesty, my old friend, people are so very afraid of you.....but no, not Megan. She keeps it genius-ly genuine.
The truth is that adult daughters are fun, too. You will look back with affection on the growing-up years, but enjoy them as interesting and lovable young women in their own right.
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